se. xvi

if you squat and squint real well, you'll see that 'puma' is an anagram of 'faux pas', either that or that's the name of their next line of creps that with 78% likelihood will not sell out

SEE

In total effing awe of this emoji art page - damn these yung kids got skills. There’s not much on this earth that will make you as happy as seeing Kendrick’s cheek made of cookies and Eric Andre’s hair recreated with motorbikes and spiders. For more visual animated wonders available OFF the sociomediosphere and in the big L-D-N instead, check out Frances Stark over at the ICA and a screening of her interpretation of Mozart’s famous opera ‘The Magic Flute’. The behind-the-scenes vid of her work makes for worthwhile watching as she explains how obscure art doesn’t alllllways have to be poncey and inaccessible. (But it sure does help).

TOUCH

MORE THRIFT MAKES THE HEART GROW SCHWIFTY. Poplar Union is starting a monthly sewing class and in the process discards all that ‘make-do-and-mend’ preconceptions you had about the needle-and-thread, and shows you that new skills taste just as good as new clothes. Ones you’ve made yourself, obviously, not sold your soul to the high street (and their questionable exploits) for.

HEAR

The sweet sound of drums’n’laughter that you’ve been direly missing since all that endless Easter joy came to an abrupt halt last Tuesday. Hideaway in Streatham not only puts on live jazz, soul and funk nights - laying the aural nectar on so thick they could sell it as manuka - they host comedy nights on Fridays too. Getcho giggle on, forget it’s Friday 13th, shed the week’s sorrows, all that jazz. Literally, jazz. Monday nights sees a jazz workshop and jam session for all abilities, so you with the deaf tones can finally make it to deftones (the Def Jam version).

SMELL

Dance but NOT as you’ve known it before. Which is quite possibly you stepping on your own toes feeling like the physical embodiment of awkwardness, being squashed against a club wall wet with the condensation of fifty gurning 19-year-olds, and not being able to get the stink of said late teenagers out of your nostrils. Check out IDENTITY at Shoreditch Town Hall from the 12th - 14th April; contemporary artists will be exploring identity through voguing, hip hop, krump and generally shaking thangs that should be shook.

TASTE

Ever get caught in that weird conveyor belt-esque hole of Facebook videos that are a satisfying medley of relatable meme lols, the best moments from The Thick of It and unending #FOOD? Well you and me both, brother, we’re like pole and line tuna - reeled in af. Anyway I was doing this recently and somehow through the glaze of “I’ve now watched 25 minutes of disembodied hands prepare meals so swiftly it’s superhuman” that had crystallised over my eyeballs, I paid attention to someone telling me what to order at a Korean BBQ. So, naturally, Korean BBQ has now permeated my every waking thought. Which means I bring you GOGI in Edgware Road (WEST!!!), Asadal in Holborn and Dotori in Finsbury Park. Thx FB, for once.

@larabaxter 

se. xiv

beast from the east reloaded was like going through puberty for the second time but it’s all sound now folks, huddle up to springtime with some of these LDN ‘appnings

SEE

I wouldn’t really consider myself a theatre bunny, and the narrative of the one play I went to see at The Yard theatre in Hackney Wick was about as easy to follow as the Golden Snitch - whilst suffering from cataracts, on foot, in Selfridges’ Christmas department amongst stacks and stacks of gold baubles. BUT, I’m an open-minded person and it’s nearly Easter, so let’s try reinvent that theatre bunny in me. New beginnings n that. Buggy Baby has just two weeks left at The Yard, and features an adult woman playing an eight-month-old baby, which is exactly the sort of premise that should have you booking tickets at lightning speed. Plus, the play has got loads of stars from loads of established publications, so that must mean something.

SMELL

Ever since hanging out on the plant-laden terraced stretch of restaurants outside Westfield White City, I have become mildly obsessed with shrubbery you can sit on. So I’m overjoyed to find the CityTree installed in Piccadilly - a creation of Dresden-based Green City Solutions who are doing some wicked environmental work using modern tech like the Internet of Things. CityTree not only does the pollution-processing work of 275 trees in 1% of the space, is solar-powered AND waters itself, it’s also a comfy place to cotch. Too many times now I’ve said that London needs more benches. And it’s come at just the right time, as New Scientist point out that air pollution can actually destroy the communication systems of plants, which could have devastating effects on entire ecosystems. So pls follow Amsterdam’s example and respect the green.

TASTE

Raw yellowfin to the tunes of Peru. Morcilla croquettes that are like biting into the soft soul of a sea urchin. Andina in Soho provides the rhubarb negroni (my seasonal mind is blown) and damn fresh sea bass ceviche worth every penny. There’s a branch in Shoreditch, because everyone has to sell out someday, and they also offer masterclasses so you too can shimmy on down the enlightened Peruvian road. Pissed-co sours, pls.

HEAR

After watching some YouTube vids of BADBADNOTGOOD, suspecting there was something gratingly arrogant about them, concluding they were probably just four over-privileged, self-indulgent males, listening to their album III and agreeing with myself, then listening to album IV and Ghostface Killah collab Sour Soul and cutting them some slack, researching them a bit more thoroughly, forgiving their terrible name, considering buying a ticket to their live show in Lithuania in July, and now I’ve happily arrived at the stage where I’m comfortable recommending them to other people. So yeah. Onwards.

TOUCH

Get in touch with your womanly side. Cos everyone knows that’s really in right now. DIY Space for London is a top venue and this weekend (23 - 25th March) they’re running a 3-day even called AWOMENfest. There are collage workshops, live performances, tarot readings, screenings, jazz DJ sets. Mixed bag = YES. Get the full deets here and get yo tix here.

@larabaxter

se. xiii

how long do you have until your next 'commitment'? until you have to actually be somewhere, and do something? check this with yourself at every free moment you have, it feels like you're growing time

TASTE

I really don’t want this section to turn into some sad little diary of all my cuisinal rampages around London like some kind of Evening Standard columnist homage (luv u Grace Dent), but I ate proper good munch this weekend so follow suite. Darjeeling Express in Kingly Court serves up killer Indian food from a kitchen run only by women with no prior experience. The beetroot raita is pinker than lipstick in the rain and they serve strangely random but propa good venison meatballs. Up in Hoxton Square you’ll find the Petit Pois Bistro, which means foie gras with rhubarb, and chocolate mousse that GETS it, all to the soundtrack of The The and Fleetwood Mac.

SMELL

Smell always seems to bring bad news. I should do one where it’s more positive. Not this week though, yardies. DEAD STARFISH EVERYWHERE COS OF ALL DAT NUTS SNOW.

SEE
Don’t be a spanner; go listen to Emma Tanner. The third year Central St Martin’s student is putting on a one-woman show (I think it’s about furniture) at a gallery in Dalston that’s really just a flat that’s been converted by someone who clearly meant it when they said they’re gonna “do” East London.

For more cavorting of an artistic nature, check out RA’s Open Saturdays. On the second Saturday of every month the Green Park gallery put on free (FREE! F-R-E-E!!!!) workshops run by artists (ACTUAL ARTISTS) that you can go to and learn stuff from (SKILLS, TRANSFERABLE SKILLS, DO YOU HAVE ANY FUKIN CLUE HOW HARD THEY ARE TO COME BY THESE DAYS!??!?!)

HEAR

‘Black Boy Meets World’ is the debut album of Danny Watts, released last year on Jonwayne’s record label Authors Recording Co. His cathartic rhymes and DGAF production have hypnotised my Spotify fingers into pressing repeat much and often. He made it in a week, what you done?

A couple days back Ms Peggy Gou Gou Gou please take off your Shoe Shoe Shoe released a new EP ‘Once’ on Ninja Tune, catch her on the flip side at Needs x HeForShe at Oval Space this Sunday. Aside from featuring performances from B Traits and everyone’s favourite Smack City graduate, Jackmaster, the event will host panel discussions from music industry playaz, tackling the hottest topic since Scotch bonnets had the mic - gender inequality.

TOUCH

Someone high up at Nokia must be on a LOT of shrooms right now, because they really believe we’re gonna ditch our beloved Apple touch-screens for them. Their 2017 reboot of the iconic 3310 was pretty pathetic, evident from one of the THREE WHOLE selling points being “you can play Snake” (I mean fair do’s tbh but not the point). Anyway, NOW the Finnish phone company is bringing back the 8110 ‘Matrix phone’, and it’s all 90s nostalgia and special springing mechanisms, and all this hype about it having 5G, and TechRadar acting like this article is somehow necessary. Guys. C’mon. It looks like a fucking banana boat.

@larabaxter 

se. xii

for when it's so cold even the central line is subzero

TOUCH

OOF, can’t believe the exclamation “oof!”, usually paired with splitting open a perfectly cooked soft boiled egg or in response to Orla dropping Auden, has now moved to pastures greener than my juvenile use of language, taking its place as the title of a new publication that is all about the relationship between art and football. Yes, they have a relationship, and it’s an extremely fruitful one, thank you. This new biannual mag is produced by Time Out’s art editor Eddy Frankel (a.k.a. Man with best prof pic on Twitter), and the first issue features big-time artists Rose Wylie (senior citizen of the moment) and Chris Ofili. At the end of the day, it’s something for the shelves of Wardour Street News that isn’t yet another £17 glossy that looks suspiciously similar to Dazed & Confused and also EVERY OTHER GLOSSY ON THE RACK, with content bound 2 be original considering its unlikely pairing of subjects.

SEE

Besides the Big Important Shows you should go to see like Barbican’s Another Kind of Life, Tate Britain’s All Too Human and - if you’ve not been yet - the Hayward’s re-opening with Andreas Gursky, make sure you give a little love to some smaller fry. Totally Different Animals at Arcadia Missa, the epic Marvin Gaye Chetwynd at Sadie Coles HQ, Luke Burton at Bosse & Baum, I Had The Landscape In My Arms at Josh Lilley and the enigmatic Rose Salane at Carlos/Ishikawa all are very worth your small-gallery-hopping while.

SMELL

Smells like tenuous and weakly creative advertising but I’m also not too sure because the pre-whiff of whisky has impaired me slightly. Glenmorangie Spìos is opening a pop-up bar called Spice & Rye in Fitzrovia from 20th - 24th March, it looks like every dim’n’grotty basement bar in the area and, true to ***experiential form***,  it's complete with art deco-style decor and jazz band. It’s a brand literally getting you drunk so you buy their products, out of respect you should go.

TASTE

An important precaution to take in this shit weather (or any weather in fact, cos this universe revolves around YOU gurl, not some fickle-minded meteorological phenomena) is to not forget about tending to your teatime taste buds. You want those buds to BLOOM, bitch, and nobody’s gon water them but you. Ditch the predictable selfies at Sketch and head to Cannizaro Park in Wimbledon for afternoon tea at Hotel du Vin and an unnecessary stroll through the foliage, it is worth the trek. If you find yourself oft crying out for crafts (and staying in Central), check out DrinkShopDo, where you can do stuff like bookbinding and clay modelling to make yourself feel like you’re at summer camp aged 9. Or, cinnamon rolls at Mughead Coffee in New Cross are bang, a lang, a langing.

HEAR

Nicolas Jaar gotta be the most sneaky bastard in the game. You might think he hibernates like a bear in a Christmas ad but he’s out there under multiple aliases releasing music L, R and C like he’s some kind of Russian spy child spawned by Nina Kraviz. 2012 - 2017 is his new album, released a couple of weeks back under one of these undercover virtuoso alter egos - A.A.L (Against All Logic). It’s bouncin, and was put out by his label, Other People, which features more treats you should chekkkkkk a$ap.

@larabaxter 

se. xi
we should all view Frances Mcdormand @ the Baftas as our guiding north star this week, and have just a little bit more trouble with being 'compliant'

HEAR

If your ears haven’t feasted on the group album assembled by XL Recordings’ top dog Richard Russell then consider this section AURAL TASTE. Everything Is Recorded is sprawling and cathartic, perhaps thanks to the croons of Sampha, whose voice makes you think he’s the kinda guy who would forgive your wrongs. Wa-hack the record on during your commute home; your tired Londonified grey pallor will not protest.

Meanwhile in Dalston, experimental and avant-garde music venue Cafe Oto is hosting a night next Monday featuring artists from Turkey and Iran, with music inspired by Persian, Indian and Arabic music traditions. The teasers growl with soul and the tanbur, tembur and santur will all be played. I know you don’t know what those are so make sure you go and find the fuk out.

TOUCH

Touch upon the issues of today in a way that goes against the grain. Last week’s Short of the Week, the 10-minute documentary Guns Found Here (director David Freid) is a gr8 example of something that does exactly that. By maintaining the grave consequences of US gun ownership - i.e. everyone getting fucking KILLED - but approaching the topic from a largely unexamined angle in the form of a certain firearm-related bureaucratic nightmare, the call for tighter gun controls is made in a non-hostile, non-“activist” way, which I rate. That sounds like a douchey thing to say, but I stand by it because the film exhibits the kind of imaginative argument-making that could actually ignite change, and convince the staunch’n’stupid NRA groupies.

SMELL

Nostalgia wrapped up in reverb. Frank says go to church and you will feel like Frank feels. Did someone say tulips. Did someone say fuchsia. Did someone say sorbet.

SEE

Oooh here is a full-on fancy to see this week, pals. Creative director cum fashion designer cum DJ (if your job title doesn’t span three industries then R U even living in the twenty-first century m8?) Virgil Abloh, also known as that dude who made those sick Nikes, has teamed up with (remember when we didn’t use the phrase ‘collaboration’ in every other sentence?) contemporary artist Takashi Murakami, also known as that dude who made that sick Kanye West album cover. Making up perhaps the most raging postmodernist duo of all time, they’re exhibiting works at the Gagosian Gallery in Davies Street from Wednesday. Expect nu-wave frantic visuals and thirteen-year-olds who dress better than you.

TASTE

When in doubt, Peckham. Check out Coal Rooms, which is housed in the station’s former ticket office. Grade II listed, fam. I like the website URL because it looks like “Coal Room Speckham”, and I’m imagining something that is halfway between a chicken coup that smells like incense and and old man in a burgundy leather armchair with an inch-thick monocle on. Don’t know where that came from, might be the whole roasted cauliflower and ox cheek talking. Yeah. You ‘erd.

@larabaxter